Just as I was feeling good about the activities the girls have chosen (E13--gymnastics, M11--violin, S11--choir, J0--horseback riding) and about our schedule and plans in general, a good friend threw a wrench in the works. She is the director of a children's performance group--singing, clogging, dancing--that just lost several members due to a surprise change of address for one of the principal families. She emailed me with a specific invitation to join this group, along with the plea, "It would be a favor to us, too."
This group is terrific. All 6 of my girls could participate, and at the same time. It is practically free. The kids are encouraged to develop their own choreography, costumes, sense of showmanship, and leadership. The kids will be taught a lot of excellent performance skills. The group is pro-America, pro-family, pro-good values. I have not one criticism or concern.
Is it the best use of our time?
Should we do this or should we be home?
I have to be home to take care of our home.
I have to be home to take care of our family.
I have to be home to take care of the women at church to whom I am called as steward.
I have to be home to have time to attend the temple.
I have to be home to prepare it to sell.
When we are away, then energy is spent on something other than home.
But if I have all 7 children with me, teaching them to serve (this group performs for senior citizens and at community-building events), to be gracious, to be confident in front of an audience, then I am helping to bless my family and my community.
I've scheduled two visits to the temple this month (actually I had my husband do it).
I've scheduled at home days.
I've arranged our daily schedule to allow for cleaning and preparing for house showings.
I've scheduled church service.
I've taught my children to help me take care of our home.
I know how to prepare meals in advance so that even on the busiest days we eat home-cooked food.
The pro-list is ever so much longer than the con-list.
So . . . why am I uneasy?
I actually made the decision not to join--deciding to honor that unease and see if peace followed.
It did not.
I felt just as uneasy about the opportunities lost and the inappropriate use of this season of our lives.
I think the reality is that I am not a stage mother, nor am I comfortable with the level of parent-participation that this group will require.
I am just afraid of not being good enough.
The kids and I have a decision to make.