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Showing posts from July, 2016

Adoption: Sometimes Love Takes (A Long) Time

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Again, the approach of our one-year anniversary of receiving our new children into our home had led me to lots of introspection.  The week before we picked the children up I told the children we already had, "Just give it a year.  Things will be really different in a year.  At first it will be hard and strange, but after a year it will be okay." I was wrong. It is really different now than it was at first. In many, many ways it is better. But after a year it is not okay; it is still hard and strange. The kids are starting to call me out for my mistake. I haven't known what to answer except to ask, "Would you give them back?" And my angriest children say, "Yes!" . . . I would not give them back . . . most of the time. I would not give them back. They are ours forever. It's just taking far more time to feel that forever connection than I thought. So I'm giving us all another year. And perhaps, after that, another

Adoption: Anne of Green Gables is a Lie

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*A long time ago, I was advised by Brother's therapist to write about and share what I'm learning about adoption.  I've had a hard time sharing my thoughts, but recently a couple of thoughts have coalesced into a sort of organized form.  Here's one of them . Anne of Green Gables is one of my best friends. I've loved her for over 30 years, and I know her better than I know myself. I've spent time introducing her to my daughters, hoping they will love her as much as I do (they don't seem to, but that's okay because it means she's more available to me when I want to spend time with her). Every time I read her story, I am filled with a sweet peace and joy.  I walk around the house smiling over her childhood antics, inspired by her young love, and determined to follow her tender example of motherhood. I just love Anne. However, her life, her innocence, her healing, her everything is a lie. Kids who are abandoned, abused, and adopted s

The Word is "Wait"

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Photo taken and edited by Pixie  I've watched for several years now as various bloggers choose a word to define/guide their year. "Hygge" has been popular recently. I noticed "inspire" for a while. "Aligned," "passionate," and "joy" are other words I've seen and read all about.  I've never once been interested in jumping on the bandwagon. However, I've recently been praying in preparation for the upcoming school year, and I've gotten a single word answer to most of my questions. How can I be a better mother? Wait. How do I best meet the needs of ____________ (fill in the blank with each child's name)? Wait. What changes do we need to implement this school year? Wait. That's a hard one--I feel pressed to make decisions! But I also feel peace about waiting because the advice to wait seems to be directing me not in waiting to make decisions, rather in making decisions that allow roo

2015-16 Reading List

I just realized last night as I was reading aloud to the kids that it is officially the start of the new school year--at least as far as our state defines a school year.  Some years ago I adopted the state's start/stop definition to help me organize our reading list, so it's time to archive this list and begin a new one. The Plant that Ate Dirty Socks by Nancy McArthur Island of the Blue Dolphins by Scott O'Dell Little Pear by Eleanor Francis Lattimore The Tiger Rising by Kate DiCamillo George's Secret Key to the Universe by Lucy and Stephen Hawking The Apple and the Arrow by Mary and Conrad Buff Tirzah by Lucille Travis The Adventures of Buster Bear by Thornton Burgess Archimedes and the Door of Science by Jeanne Bendick Sarah, Plain and Tall by Patricia MacLachlan Black Ships Before Troy by Rosemary Sutcliff Old Yeller by Fred Gipson Cry, the Beloved Country by Alan Paton 50 Famous Stories Retold by James Baldwin All About Sam by Lois Lo