A Fly On My Homeschool Wall

 Autumn arrived, and it is lovely. Cool nights. Warm days. Beautiful. Ideal. Life at home is less than ideal, though.  (But isn't that real?) Brother and I met with his specialist psychiatrist, and I expressed concern that we were following the usual path with the meds she'd prescribed Brother--temporary success, then failure.  She said it was simply a matter of him being undermedicated at the introductory doses and put us on a schedule for titrating to the correct doses. Since then, we've seen nothing but worsening behaviors, and Friday night ended in us having to restrain both Brother and Beowulf (who is so frightened of Brother's behaviors that he follows his own path to violence). Brother has also taken to accusing Sir Walter Scott and me of various forms of abuse.  These accusations are false and terrifying.  So far, all of the investigations that have followed his accusations have been proven false, but I've seen families I know personally torn apart by this s

 Brother's new med regimen is working. He is handling triggers that would usually set him off into violence with thoughtful calm. We are trying to enjoy these good days, but we're still tiptoeing around, waiting for the bomb to go off. And Beowulf and Ladybug are now filling the violence void with their own tantrums and threats.  It's as if they suppress most of what they're feeling in order to cope with the danger of their environment, and as soon as that threat is gone, they let their own issues out.  The whole family is walking around in a haze of exhaustion--I find myself disconnecting often, and I have to constantly force myself to look family members in the eye and listen with real intent. Quite often, I fail. But we are blessed by our new morning schedule and our plan to focus on healing. After Morning Meeting, Nature Angel and Little Princess are excused to go to their desks in their room and focus fully on school--1 hour for Little Princess and 2 hours for Natu

Monday Brother was released from the hospital.  He was thrilled to come home and be able to use our shower.  We took a 3 mile hike in the evening.    If you look at the group photo above, you'll notice that Brother is missing.  That's because he got angry with me, tried to hit me with a stick, tried to run away, and we walked in two groups for the second half of the hike--me with 7 happy kids, Sir Walter Scott with 1 angry kid. Tuesday We did yoga, math, walked, and celebrated a birthday. We also got a call from a residential treatment center with questions to clarify some of Brother's needs.   Brother had a psych appointment with a new psychiatrist--Dr. H.  She specializes in kids with Autism as well as other behavioral disorders, and she had a lot of good counsel for us.  She also prescribed 2 new meds for Brother. Wednesday We planned to do yoga, math, and walk. What we did was paperwork for 8 straight hours when our morning routine was happily interrupted by a call from

We have Monarch Butterfly caterpillars!!!    Brother is back in the psych hospital.   It was that kind of week.   We did our best at normal . . . but it didn't get very good results.   We did have Morning Meeting each day. We didn't read much at bedtime because bedtimes were damaged beyond repair most nights.   We did walk the dogs as much as we could. We didn't walk the dogs on a very regular schedule because it stormed a lot--but we saw a magnificent crawdad trying to cross the road to get back to his regular watery home. We did try for school each day. We didn't get very much done that could be called "school."   We did an art project after watching a science video . . . all except Beowulf (and Brother, of course). We cried. We hugged. We talked. We filled out paperwork. We stared into space. Super Star and my mom folded 6 loads of laundry. (Such a blessing!)   School has to take a different shape than it currently has.  In the state of Missouri I am requir