A Week, Briefly (7/29/19)

The quiet end of a long summer day

Last week's trip definitely marked the dividing line between "There's no way we can start school," and, "It's time to get going because we're ready!"

I'm looking at the 19th as our start date for the 2019-20 school year . . . as long as the last few school items have been delivered.

I focused mostly on curriculum decisions and scheduling.

Lots of long hours in front of the computer with a few open spreadsheets and a whole bunch of bookmarked curriculum websites.

But there were other preparatory activities as well.

One was yet another psych visit for Ladybug.  Her new psychiatrist told me that I am "torturing her." Then she said, "I'm sure you're doing your best, but it's just not enough.  You need to consider other options."

After I picked myself up off the floor (figuratively), I said to her, "I think you need to remove the word 'torture' from your vocabulary when you're talking to parents.  If parents are here, it's because they know they need help and because they care about their kids."

Her response?

"What should I say then?  It is torture.  If I can't use the word 'torture,' what word should I use?"

I felt blasted, and I could only compose myself enough to answer, "I'm not sure.  Let me ponder that and get back to you."

"You do that," she said.  "You get back to me and tell me what I'm allowed to say to parents.  You be ready next week to give me an answer."

Seriously.

I think she might be bright and capable, and I think she might have good ideas about Ladybug's medication plan, but I think she has a long way to go to be a good psychiatrist.

I've asked some questions, and I'm looking around for other options.

In the mean time, Ladybug and I have to go back to her on Monday.

Right now Ladybug is off all ADHD meds and only on an anti-depressant.  This psychiatrist is focusing on treating her PTSD.

That's good.

And really hard.

She's talking nearly twice as much as we're used to; she's more fidgety and impulsive than I've ever seen her; she more defiant than usual, and she just grins as she makes mischief.

I'm not quite sure what to make of this journey.

At least our psychiatrist has an attending supervisor, and if Monday's visit is as rough as last Monday's was, I can speak with the attending about my concerns.

Ladybug got another week's work of spelling, language arts, and church history study done.  She's frustrated that she's still doing school, but it's really not quite an hour a day divided into two under-30-minute blocks, so I don't think she's being unduly punished.  She also likes the one-on-one attention.

We completed week 13 of Myself and Others.

Only 1 week to go!

Our Morning Meetings and our evening reading traditions are healthy and strong.

There were no therapy appointments because the office was closed for foundation work.

But we did have 3 eye exams this week; Mister Man gets his new glasses in about 2 weeks.

Teens worked many, many hours.

Nature Angel and Belle were able to attend the YW lake outing/picnic.  (Pixie is out of YW, and Super Star was at work.)  I was able to swipe a couple of pictures from the shared google page.

Belle and a friend

Nature Angel got a wild ride, but she didn't wipe out!

Rose Red has begun saving money for a car.  She's tried many times over the years, but this is the first time she's actually been successful at keeping money in order to reach a goal.  Whether she reaches the goal or not, I'm grateful to see her progress.

In addition, I'm grateful for another lesson she seems to be learning, and that is that there is greater freedom in working and earning things for oneself.  My parents have made the offer to buy her a car if she will meet certain criteria.  The criteria are perfectly reasonable, and I'm grateful for their efforts to encourage her to make and reach goals toward responsible adult independence.

She doesn't like meeting their criteria.  She doesn't like them asking for proof of her cooperation.  So she's deciding to get the car herself.

I'm glad she's realized that jumping through another person's hoops in order to get financial assistance is a kind of bondage that is better left alone.

No matter how she gets that car, I'm grateful for my parents' involvement, because it has encouraged her to think and work, assess and decide--responsible adult skills all.

Our teen book club met this week to discuss All Quiet on the Western Front.  The kids didn't have much to say about it, but they were clearly affected by it in the intensity of the few comments they made.  In addition, we watched the movie version starting Richard Thomas (John Boy!), and the room was quiet with focus.  Pixie got super-talkative about the book and movie once we were in the car on the way home, and then the conversation continued for half an hour once we were home.

I'm glad to share good books with my kids.

Sir Walter Scott took the younger ones to the zoo for a Dad Day outing.  Beowulf made everyone laugh when he said, "Mmmmmmmm!  Sheep smell good!"

Otherwise the days blended together in the routine of outdoor play (lots of water and sand), picnics, quiet times, and story times.

Comments

  1. Wow! That therapist sounds awful! I'm so sorry she attacked you like that.

    I hope your change from summer routine to school routine goes smoothly.

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  2. I have met some nasty professionals in my day, but that lady takes the cake. I would work to get away from her as soon as possible. I hope that the start of school will provide you with some peace and routine.
    Blessings, Dawn

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  3. It sounds as if you have had a good and a hard week. So many good things are happening, and you are doing great. Good luck with the therapist. I hope she's able to help and that she learns to be more sensitive.

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  4. Have you decided what word or phrase you are going to suggest to her. Maybe setting boundaries for children and expecting each child to respect family members? Setting consistent and age (developmentally) appropriate standards for all members in the household? Insisting on accountability for each member of the household.

    I honestly don't know what to think of this counselor. I hope you can find someone who understands that families must heal and that begins with learning that you are accountable for your actions.

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  5. Wow! I don't know that I would have even been able to stay in the room with her. I hope it gets better from here and that they can help you. People just don't have any idea how much moms struggle. We try so hard to do whats right but don't always know what that is!!! I hope this week was better. We are supposed to be starting school next week and I still haven't made definite decisions on curriculum.

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