Saturday, January 24, 2015

A Week, Briefly (The Baby Came!)

We tried to have school, but I was so unable to focus on anything that I gave up.  I couldn't get myself to make simple assignments.  Even reading aloud left me breathless and exhausted.

We went on an outing on a weirdly warm January day.




I left Dad with the kids at a playground and walked over 4 miles trying to kick labor into gear. 

No luck.

My mental state of being was bad.  It didn't matter what I knew with my rational mind.  I was sleep-deprived, exhausted, unable to breathe, unable to think, unable to laugh or find any sort of perspective.  I felt serious depression/anxiety fluttering around the edges of my brain.  I recognized the signs of needing help because I've been down that road before.  I needed the baby out NOW.

But he didn't come out.

I took the kids to their Explorer's Club meeting.  We all made valentines to be delivered to local Meals on Wheels recipients.  The kids churned out over 100 valentines in a happily productive hour.  I picked the brains of other moms as to how they found the mental fortitude to keep going past their due dates. 

I saw my midwife. 

She asked, "How are you?"

I burst into tears.  "What are my options?" I begged.

She took me very seriously.  "Let's check you out and see what we can do," she said.  Details aside, the safest route was to schedule an induction the next morning.  We did so, and I left the office with the first hope I'd felt in many, many days.

Then my water broke spontaneously that night!

Baby L.0 arrived in the wee hours of the next morning. 

Pictures (at least the ones we take) never do justice to how beautiful a new baby really is.


Though I am an absolute birth story junkie, I find I am reluctant right now to tell the story in detail.  Suffice to say that he is perfect, and the rest of us are as happy as can be.  All of the dark thoughts that plagued me are gone.  My heart and spirit are as light and joyful as possible.

The rest of the week spun by as L.0 and I rested quietly in the hospital while Dad and the rest of the kids had adventures together.

There is always a line of kids wanting a turn to hold the little fellow.  Kisses, coos, and smiles are the order of the day right now. 

So we'll "let the baby be the lesson" for a while.

We'll discuss school another day.

9 comments:

  1. Congratulations, congratulations, congratulations!! I was hoping to hear good news this weekend!! In fact, sometime last week I was going about my day and thought suddenly, "Hey! I bet she's had the baby!" - and what a beautiful picture to wake up to!! Many congratulations to you all!

    Love,
    Diana

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  2. I love the family picture. Cute, cute, cute. I love that you are feeling happy and light. I will pray that carried you through the long nights that are coming.

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  3. Congratulations! I was praying this little one would make his appearance. Isn't it interesting the timing of these things? Just when all hope is lost for him making his own appearance it happens. Whether you ever share the details here or not I would encourage you to write it out somewhere. It is amazing the things we can see in retrospect as we put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard). I felt that especially with Samuel's birth. ((HUGS)) Enjoy the newborn and the sibling adoration!

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  4. Yay!!! What a beautiful baby. I'll know ya'll will have a blast. Everyone looks absolutely thrilled.

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  5. Congratulations! What a beautiful baby! Take care of yourself and that precious baby . School can definitely wait!!!

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  6. Congratulations on your beautiful new one.

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  7. I SO get that "Get this baby out now!" feeling at the end of pregnancy. So glad he's here and safe. Love the photo with all the kids.

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  8. I SO get that "Get this baby out now!" feeling at the end of pregnancy. So glad he's here and safe. Love the photo with all the kids.

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