I'm Having a Hard Time

As I've written before, it's probably hormones, and I'm trying to put them in their place, but they're bossy little things, and I'm struggling.

I feel like a failure every day.

I'm disappointed in our homeschool.

I cry over things as simple as getting dinner on the table.

But I've been doing interstitial journaling in my planner to prove to myself that I'm not failing as a home educator and human being, so I do have proof that we're getting things done.

We received an "Everything is for Sale" Monopoly expansion pack that has inspired frequent game play in our home.

Morning Meeting is thriving as we review The Family Proclamation using the songs from this blog that we found and fell in love with 10 years ago.  

(It's hard to believe Marilyn's kids and my kids were so small and are now so big.  We've never met in person, but her joie de vivre keeps me avidly interested in her blog.)

We're also enjoying our daily readings from The Jesus Storybook Bible.  I hope we never outgrow reading this lovely, lovely version of the Bible.  

As well, we're doing the readings from Come, Follow Me Old Testament, we're watching videos inspired by this manual, and we're singing and memorizing scripture as we have for over 20 years.

Super Star is less than 2 months away from being a mother! 
We had fun at her baby shower a week or so ago!

                                 

And these are the little toys Nature Angel crocheted for Baby E--

We had a blast reading Romeo and Juliet for high school.  As a family, we watched the Franco Zeffirelli version of the play (skipping the morning after the wedding night scene!).  Little Princess was stunned by how much of the written play was edited out in order to make a coherent movie.  I'd mentioned it several times as we read together, but hearing about it and actually experiencing it are two different things!

Now we are several chapters into A Separate Peace.  I've got the kids making predictions and sharing opinions about what is happening and what it going to happen.  They're amusedly annoyed with me for not telling them what is going to happen before it happens.  They're going to be genuinely annoyed as the book continues to add to the confusion instead of resolving it.

We are also well into our notes on Russia, having covered wildlife, government, general life, and basic statistics about the country.  We're covering the economy next week.

Seminary started up again, too!

Little Princess got to participate in an O-flight--an opportunity to fly a plane!

Each of the high schoolers is doing math and language arts daily as independent subjects. In addition, my last meeting with Little Princess showed marked improvement in her progress in her other independent subjects.  

Little Princess has also been very busy filling out applications for flight school scholarships, to USAFA's summer program, and for various CAP summer study programs as well.  If she gets accepted, she'll be so busy with camps, she'll barely be home!

Her first ACT score was reasonable, but she's disappointed to find she did much better in reading and language arts than she did in math and science.  She's scheduled to retake the exam in a few weeks, and we've been doing some practice exams.

The younger kids are also doing daily math and language arts.  Because of illness in the household, we've made minimal progress in our other studies.  

Poor Beowulf!  We found him semi-conscious, face-down on his bedroom floor one evening when he didn't come to the dinner table!  We spent 8 hours in the ER, but all they could find out is that he's an otherwise healthy kid with an unexplained loss of consciousness. He was the first to go down with the non-COVID, non-flu, non-RSV virus that ran through the younger 6 kids.

     *Science--we did a comprehensive review of all we've covered so far in human anatomy, and we've made minimal progress in moving forward with the respiratory system.

     *US Presidents--we're still reviewing what we memorized in the fall.  We're having a hard time bringing those presidents back into our active memory!

     *Poetry--we've reviewed several favorite poems and read two new ones.

     *History/Geography--we're reading Born in the Year of Courage.

Lola, doing math

Bedtime reading has taken a profound hit lately.  Between church activities, CAP, dances, and football games (watched on TV with Dad as a shared experience that gives them the ability to participate socially with peers) that extend into the evening I miss it, and keeping it up on the 3 or 4 nights a week is should be possible is like swimming upstream.  The kids and I did finish The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus by L, Frank Baum, and we're working on The Princess and Curdie now.  

I don't want to give up.  Lola and Baymax are still only 11, and Brother straight up says, "I sleep better after mom reads to us.  Her voice is soothing, and the stories seem so real."

It's worth the fight.

It's worth the fight.

It's worth the fight.

(And football season is almost over!)

Dance started up again, but we weren't there because of illness.  It was Nature Angel's last dance practice!  She has been hired full time at a daycare in the 4s room.  Her class will be taken over by another graduated student and a new dance mother who has experience swing dancing.  

Oh, dear!  Mister Man was the last to fall ill this week.
He's okay now, as are all of the kids--just dealing with that residual runny nose and cough that will now last the rest of winter!

It's good to write things down.  It becomes clear that my sense of failure has less to do with reality and more to do with whatever is going on in my brain.  

And my daily notes show that I've made progress in home improvement projects, daily chores, kitchen/food storage goals, sewing projects, church service, family relationships, personal fitness, personal scripture study, and supporting friends.

Sooooooo . . . I'm not a failure.

I just need to figure out how to stop feeling like one!