A Week, Briefly (1/13/20)
Saturday
After morning chores, we took hike 2 of 52.
We took the same trail as for our first hike.
What a difference the snow makes!
We came home to enjoy hot chocolate, popcorn, and a movie.
Sunday
Ladybug and I were late for church as she had a major breakdown that prevented us leaving with the rest of the family. The good news is that she did calm, and we did attend half of our meetings--which meant I was able to teach my sweet Primary class.
In the afternoon we prepared dinner a for a friend who had a baby just a couple of weeks earlier.
The icy cold weather left us at loose ends, and the whole family was feeling edgy. We needed to have Family Night, but it was clear that we would be less than successful if we tried to have a lesson or organized activity. We decided to turn on the new Book of Mormon videos for a while, and Pixie and Belle helped me work on making a treat.
However, Super Star had a serious mental health crisis that night. Sir Walter Scott and I called on the other teens to run the household for the rest of the evening while we talked Super Star through the crisis and called on a dear friend to come over to help administer a blessing. After a couple of hours, all three of us felt we could safely avoid going to the hospital, and we agreed on a safety plan to see us through getting professional help.
Monday
This was a normal first day of the week in that we maintained as much routine as possible, but it was a rotten first day in that Brother, Beowulf, and Ladybug all had breakdowns of some sort.
We did all of our school that is usually scheduled.
I also took Brother to see his psychiatrist who listened carefully, made a treatment plan, and prescribed a new med. (Brother attacked me in the waiting room.)
We did not get out into the sunshine for a hike, but Sir Walter Scott took most of the kids on a walk around the neighborhood.
I am grateful for him
Tuesday
In between our normal school routine, I tried to get Super Star assessed for and enrolled in an adolescent IOP. We waited sooooooo loooooong.
Eventually we left and said we'd come back another day. One kind staff member told us that mornings have a shorter wait.
When we got home and found the kids all engaged in watching a movie, I had Belle and Super Star change places, so that Belle could have a driving lesson with me. I threw her in the deep end of the pool, but she liked it there!
The teens finished The Good and the Beautiful Unit 7; both girls got good grades on the exam.
Brother's behavior on the new med seemed worse than usual, but he had such a hard day on Monday I didn't know if it was a continuation of a cycle he was starting. I administered the new med again that evening . . . with a watchful eye.
Little Princess and Nature Angel took their Unit 3 Greek Mythology test--game show style. It was fun, and they both aced the exam.
Wednesday
Brother woke up looking and acting calm, but he came to me saying, "I'm worried that I'm going to be bad."
"I think you're going to do a great job today," I countered. "Your eyes look calm. Your body looks calm. You just came to me with words. I think you can do a great job today. I really do!"
But he was the prophet, not me.
The morning was normal: Chores, Morning Meeting, individual school, playtime with our church grandma, Symposium, lunch/lunchtime reading.
Then it was time for Beowulf's quarterly visit with the ADHD clinic.
I took Brother with me because he seemed safe enough to travel with me, and it would reduce the level of supervision/tension at home. Armed with a pocketful of Skittles for rewarding good behavior, we set optimistically out.
This ADHD clinic provides toys to play with while the kids wait, and we had a grand time playing Uno and building with magnetic blocks. The doc, social worker, and I had a great visit, and I'd passed out several reward Skittles.
But the whole experience was long--it was over 2 hours before we left--and we were completely out of toilet paper, and Costco was the only store on our way home.
*sigh*
It was the perfect storm.
Long story short, we pulled over more than once on the way home, and ultimately made it to our driveway with one hand on the steering wheel, one hand restraining Brother, a panic-stricken Beowulf, and a prayer on my lips.
Brother spent the next half hour describing ways he would kill me and all of the police men/fire fighters I might possibly call for help, but as most of them involved imaginary super powers, I wasn't worried.
Eventually he calmed down, and we had sandwiches for supper, after which we enjoyed a peaceful session of our usual evening reading.
It's honestly very weird to go from normal to near death to normal again.
We did not have Jr. Kindergarten or study Greek Mythology.
Poor Baymax felt the loss of Jr K. It really is his daily proof that he matters. I gave him some extra tucking-in time in order to show him I love him, and he was able to feel peaceful again.
I complimented Beowulf on being brave and helpful many, many, many times . . . and gave him a Skittle each time.
I hope Belle brushed his teeth extra well!
Thursday
Brother woke up in a high alert state and couldn't come down. He escalated to rage 3 times in the first hour of the day, and it felt just like living with him this past summer/early fall.
By 11am I'd called the psychiatrist to say I was taking him off the new med.
We worked through and around the rages to get the day started as normally as possible, then we sent Super Star and Sir Walter Scott back to the psych hospital to get Super Star's assessment done. The staff member on Tuesday told us the truth, and they were back in under 2 hours with a completed admission to the adolescent IOP. She'll start as soon as there is an opening.
Best guess--2 weeks.
Her appointment meant we didn't have Symposium, but we did do individual subjects for the young ones, and then Grandma came over to play games and spend the day with us.
I was late getting lunch on the table, so the kids gulped down what they could and left the rest as we headed out the door for our first day back at dance for the second semester.
I didn't feel ready, but we came alive and had a lot of fun reviewing the dances we'd learned and preparing to learn new ones.
I came home mentally prepared to do some school work with kids, but our little babysittee was so, so sleepy that I took some time to rock him and sing to him and just revel in the joy of holding a sleeping baby.
The kids played games.
And then it was time to prepare dinner so that 8 of our kids could go to the church for children/youth activities.
How did that happen all of a sudden!?!!?
I was left home with only Lola and Baymax--such a sweet treat. They got themselves ready for bed (the picture in my mind of Lola holding her toothbrush in one hand while she put lotion on Baymax's back with the other while he lotioned his legs is so precious to my heart), and I popped popcorn for them. They grabbed a pillow and blankie each, and I set up Winnie the Pooh for a bedtime movie.
They sat side by side under their blankies, munching popcorn and giggling.
I thought my heart might burst.
Later in the evening the rest of the troops burst through the door, happy and excited to tell me all about their adventures. The youth had gone out into the community to perform "random acts of kindness," and the children had played games in order to get comfortable with their new leaders and activity groups.
Friday
Brother was much better--still too alert and too easily bothered, but he didn't rage even once.
We ran through an almost boring day of school . . . but boring is a blessing! I'll take boring any day!
Freezing rain and slippery streets have kept us indoors all day; therapies were cancelled, seminary was cancelled; and my hoped for Hike 3 of 52 just wasn't possible with the cold weather gear we own.
Uno has given way to Rummikub as the favorite family game.
We're having pancakes/waffles for supper.
After morning chores, we took hike 2 of 52.
We took the same trail as for our first hike.
What a difference the snow makes!
We came home to enjoy hot chocolate, popcorn, and a movie.
Sunday
Ladybug and I were late for church as she had a major breakdown that prevented us leaving with the rest of the family. The good news is that she did calm, and we did attend half of our meetings--which meant I was able to teach my sweet Primary class.
In the afternoon we prepared dinner a for a friend who had a baby just a couple of weeks earlier.
The icy cold weather left us at loose ends, and the whole family was feeling edgy. We needed to have Family Night, but it was clear that we would be less than successful if we tried to have a lesson or organized activity. We decided to turn on the new Book of Mormon videos for a while, and Pixie and Belle helped me work on making a treat.
However, Super Star had a serious mental health crisis that night. Sir Walter Scott and I called on the other teens to run the household for the rest of the evening while we talked Super Star through the crisis and called on a dear friend to come over to help administer a blessing. After a couple of hours, all three of us felt we could safely avoid going to the hospital, and we agreed on a safety plan to see us through getting professional help.
Monday
This was a normal first day of the week in that we maintained as much routine as possible, but it was a rotten first day in that Brother, Beowulf, and Ladybug all had breakdowns of some sort.
We did all of our school that is usually scheduled.
I also took Brother to see his psychiatrist who listened carefully, made a treatment plan, and prescribed a new med. (Brother attacked me in the waiting room.)
We did not get out into the sunshine for a hike, but Sir Walter Scott took most of the kids on a walk around the neighborhood.
I am grateful for him
Tuesday
In between our normal school routine, I tried to get Super Star assessed for and enrolled in an adolescent IOP. We waited sooooooo loooooong.
Eventually we left and said we'd come back another day. One kind staff member told us that mornings have a shorter wait.
When we got home and found the kids all engaged in watching a movie, I had Belle and Super Star change places, so that Belle could have a driving lesson with me. I threw her in the deep end of the pool, but she liked it there!
The teens finished The Good and the Beautiful Unit 7; both girls got good grades on the exam.
Brother's behavior on the new med seemed worse than usual, but he had such a hard day on Monday I didn't know if it was a continuation of a cycle he was starting. I administered the new med again that evening . . . with a watchful eye.
Little Princess and Nature Angel took their Unit 3 Greek Mythology test--game show style. It was fun, and they both aced the exam.
Wednesday
Brother woke up looking and acting calm, but he came to me saying, "I'm worried that I'm going to be bad."
"I think you're going to do a great job today," I countered. "Your eyes look calm. Your body looks calm. You just came to me with words. I think you can do a great job today. I really do!"
But he was the prophet, not me.
The morning was normal: Chores, Morning Meeting, individual school, playtime with our church grandma, Symposium, lunch/lunchtime reading.
Then it was time for Beowulf's quarterly visit with the ADHD clinic.
I took Brother with me because he seemed safe enough to travel with me, and it would reduce the level of supervision/tension at home. Armed with a pocketful of Skittles for rewarding good behavior, we set optimistically out.
This ADHD clinic provides toys to play with while the kids wait, and we had a grand time playing Uno and building with magnetic blocks. The doc, social worker, and I had a great visit, and I'd passed out several reward Skittles.
But the whole experience was long--it was over 2 hours before we left--and we were completely out of toilet paper, and Costco was the only store on our way home.
*sigh*
It was the perfect storm.
Long story short, we pulled over more than once on the way home, and ultimately made it to our driveway with one hand on the steering wheel, one hand restraining Brother, a panic-stricken Beowulf, and a prayer on my lips.
Brother spent the next half hour describing ways he would kill me and all of the police men/fire fighters I might possibly call for help, but as most of them involved imaginary super powers, I wasn't worried.
Eventually he calmed down, and we had sandwiches for supper, after which we enjoyed a peaceful session of our usual evening reading.
It's honestly very weird to go from normal to near death to normal again.
 |
| Little Princess and Nature Angel continue to enjoy their Duolingo language studies. |
We did not have Jr. Kindergarten or study Greek Mythology.
Poor Baymax felt the loss of Jr K. It really is his daily proof that he matters. I gave him some extra tucking-in time in order to show him I love him, and he was able to feel peaceful again.
I complimented Beowulf on being brave and helpful many, many, many times . . . and gave him a Skittle each time.
I hope Belle brushed his teeth extra well!
 |
| We were all this tired by the end of the day. |
Thursday
Brother woke up in a high alert state and couldn't come down. He escalated to rage 3 times in the first hour of the day, and it felt just like living with him this past summer/early fall.
By 11am I'd called the psychiatrist to say I was taking him off the new med.
We worked through and around the rages to get the day started as normally as possible, then we sent Super Star and Sir Walter Scott back to the psych hospital to get Super Star's assessment done. The staff member on Tuesday told us the truth, and they were back in under 2 hours with a completed admission to the adolescent IOP. She'll start as soon as there is an opening.
Best guess--2 weeks.
Her appointment meant we didn't have Symposium, but we did do individual subjects for the young ones, and then Grandma came over to play games and spend the day with us.
 |
| In between rages, Brother finished his final lesson in this early reader. I guess it says a lot for him and for all of us that we were able to work together on school. To me this picture shows how he didn't feel well on that med--there's something off about his face and eyes here. |
I was late getting lunch on the table, so the kids gulped down what they could and left the rest as we headed out the door for our first day back at dance for the second semester.
I didn't feel ready, but we came alive and had a lot of fun reviewing the dances we'd learned and preparing to learn new ones.
I came home mentally prepared to do some school work with kids, but our little babysittee was so, so sleepy that I took some time to rock him and sing to him and just revel in the joy of holding a sleeping baby.
The kids played games.
And then it was time to prepare dinner so that 8 of our kids could go to the church for children/youth activities.
How did that happen all of a sudden!?!!?
I was left home with only Lola and Baymax--such a sweet treat. They got themselves ready for bed (the picture in my mind of Lola holding her toothbrush in one hand while she put lotion on Baymax's back with the other while he lotioned his legs is so precious to my heart), and I popped popcorn for them. They grabbed a pillow and blankie each, and I set up Winnie the Pooh for a bedtime movie.
They sat side by side under their blankies, munching popcorn and giggling.
I thought my heart might burst.
Later in the evening the rest of the troops burst through the door, happy and excited to tell me all about their adventures. The youth had gone out into the community to perform "random acts of kindness," and the children had played games in order to get comfortable with their new leaders and activity groups.
Friday
Brother was much better--still too alert and too easily bothered, but he didn't rage even once.
We ran through an almost boring day of school . . . but boring is a blessing! I'll take boring any day!
 |
| Nature Angel doing math |
Freezing rain and slippery streets have kept us indoors all day; therapies were cancelled, seminary was cancelled; and my hoped for Hike 3 of 52 just wasn't possible with the cold weather gear we own.
Uno has given way to Rummikub as the favorite family game.
We're having pancakes/waffles for supper.
Adorable picture of Belle driving! We had pancakes for dinner too!
ReplyDeleteWe love pancakes for dinner. What a week. I am so glad you are on the road to getting help for Super Star and so sorry about the awful change in med. I can see the off look in Brother too. I hope the weekend goes more peacefully.
ReplyDeleteBlessings, Dawn
The challenges you face never cease to amaze me. ((HUGS))
ReplyDeleteI had a random thought and wanted to share - will your kids accept a different candy substitute? Maybe chocolate chips? The only reason is all the food dye in the skittles can be a trigger or stressor for some kids. My Emma had major issues with food dyes, a few in particular, and the behavior changes when we removed them all were unbelievable. Literally, I would not have believed it if anyone else had told me. I know your kids have other major issues they are dealing with (!) and wonder if smaller things like this aren't noticed because of those big issues. Making these smaller changes won't fix everything for you guys. I know that. But maybe it would be just a tiny help for some of the kids? I'm a firm believer that even if big issues remain, little improvements are worth their weight in gold. Any lightening of the load is a blessing.
(Emma would tantrum at an age well past what my other kids had ever done (9) and it escalated nearly every time to screaming, crying, shrieking, hitting, etc. She couldn't calm down until exhausted. She just had no emotional control once she got upset. We were looking at a lot of possible options and decided to try dietary changes first, because Joseph had such major food allergies. After trying several with no improvement, we tried eliminating all food dye. Within a couple weeks she was a different child. I was shocked. Absolutely shocked. After 6 or 8 weeks we introduced one dye at a time and watched her, then detoxed from all dye before trying the next. It turned out that red and yellow dyes would bring back the behavior changes within days. Noticeably. Blues she handled better. We spent years without any food dye in the house, even in toothpaste and shampoo. As she got older and more experienced in emotional control and how she felt when things were 'off', we were willing to reintroduce them in a limited way (candy occasionally), but we were a team in making choices that kept it limited. Around candy-filled holidays she STILL can have issues at 14. We always go into a candy season like Halloween, Christmas, Valentine's, and Easter with a conversation about choosing less of the color-filled and more of the chocolate when there are options, and choosing to trade in color-filled for chocolate at home when there aren't options. )
Yup, we've tried that route with no results. I know that dyes make a difference for some kids--like my Rose Red--but when we tried it with this batch of kids, there was no difference whatsoever. I hate using candy, but it works for this crew.
DeleteBesides chocolate in my pocket would be messy!!! :)
Drat! Was hoping for something simple to ease the burden a smidge.
DeleteCute pictures! You go through so much and take on each challenge so beautifully. Honestly I'm always in awe. 💛
ReplyDeleteOh, I'm so glad you got the opportunity to recharge with your little ones! Sounds like a rough week with more than the usual number of kids in crises. I imagine the stress with Brother has affected the rest of the household considerably. Hoping that the IOP program is a good fit and helps get things under control for Super Star. Cute picture! Wishing you just enough strength for today each day. Thinking of you often.
ReplyDelete